Questioning life...

Current condition: A bit tired
Current mood: .....

Watching TV and using the computer in the morning,
Waiting for them to come back,
Looking up to the shy,
I miss those days...

The past week, I've been reminiscing a lot...
I don't know why, though...They just...come...
I mean...now that I really think about it...
It's been 3---no...almost 4 years since my first day of secondary school...

Waking up early before dawn,
Brushing my teeth with my old toothbrush,
Putting on my blue pinafore,
Carrying my faithful school bag,
I looked in the mirror...
...that's me...
a Form One girl...

*Honk Honk* the school bus arrives...
Waving goodbye to my mother,
My brother and I walk outside the gates...
...first day of secondary school...

But before long, I became a prefect...
And even before I knew what hit me, I became a prefect AJK...

...not long after, I became one of the highest prefect AJKs...
...it's hard to believe, but it's true...
...the green skirt and smart-looking blazer shows it.

I used to follow orders,
From my senior prefects...

But now, almost in the blink of an eye,
I am now the one giving the orders,
To my juniors...

...I feel old...like I've been around for some time...
But still not that wise...
That's why,
As I try my best to encourage and help my juniors,
I also try my best to learn from them...
I'm still trying...

But being a prefect was beside the point.
Time just...passes so quickly...
My PMR exams felt like...just a week ago...

But now it is already near the end of my Form Four term...
What is awaiting me next year?

Packing my borrowed textbooks...
to be returned to the school the next day,
The odd feeling comes...
Next year I will be borrowing Form Five books...
I will be sitting for my SPM...
Suddenly I miss my Form Four textbooks...!

After examinations, Crystal often asked me in school...
...about what I plan to do after Form Five...

What can I say?
I don't really know actually...

After Form Five, I will be "free"...
...but it will be my time to walk my own path...
...to find my future life...
I won't be easy, but that's the way life is, isn't it?

Someday, inevitably,
We have to part ways with our friends,
Of course, we will try our best to stay in touch,
But it won't be the same as before...

When we meet again, probably many years later,
We would laugh and chat among ourselves,
About how many wrinkles we've gotten,
About how much different we look,

But what's the same is that...
...we will still be friends, right?

Tung once asked me in school...
"Wouldn't it be great if we could turn back time and restart the year?
That way we can undo any mistakes we have done..."

Well, sure, I think it'd be great too...
...but then...wouldn't it just turn us into cowards?
"...Tung, I think it's great, but I also think it's better if we just learn from our mistakes and move on with our lives..."

...at least there's the proof there that we not afraid to fail...

Ending this post,
It actually made me more depressed than I intended,
But I'm quite satisfied with the post...
Before clicking "Publish Post",
I typed another two paragraphs...

..."Change"...
I remember writing an essay about it.
The title is merely one word,
but it evokes such deep thoughts and emotions...

Everybody changes---that is a fact,
I know that I am not exactly the same person as I was before,
But I wouldn't say that I have changed completely either...
...I am still me,
...and I will always be me.