Running Down the Way Up

The lower centers in me revolve around,
Derive their meaning from my self will,
As I watch the sun highlight your Midas touch,
Conscious light gets through somehow,
Yet I always fail to notice,
Yet I always fail to notice,
I’m always headed for the ground...


The hot mid-August weather finally cooled down a little by rain, falling from the endless sky...
That's the way it is here in the INTEC hostel...
On the weekends, it's really quiet and somewhat lonely.
Most students, especially those who live nearby return home with their parents.
Watching them happily hand over their luggage to their parents who put them in the boots of their cars, driving off to home, to comfort...


From conditioned red,
To conditioned red,
Heading for the ground,
Then amber flashes...
From conditioned red,
To conditioned red,
Yet I always fail to notice,
I'm always heading for the ground...


Well, it can't be helped anyway...
I live "overseas", so though it seems a little unfair, I'll just bear with it.
I'm going to return during the Hari Raya break, so at least I do get to go back sometime...

While some went home, others went to the nearest, busiest city - Kuala Lumpur.
1-2 hours by train from here, and you arrive at the hectic and packed capital city.
Though we're just a journey (or two apart), it seems almost like a different world.
Kuala Lumpur is always bustling with happenings, lively, noisy, fast-paced...
Just outside of INTEC, here, however is slow (almost lazy)-paced, relaxed, quiet...
...Sort of like sweet ol' Sandakan...


The visible effect runs through my blood,
As I watch the sun highlight your Midas touch,
Conscious light gets through somehow,
I always fail to notice,
I'm heading for the ground...


"How's life?"
"So far so good"
I mean, what else do you expect me to answer?
"Russian language is so damn hard, I can't stand this, why did I choose this, etc etc..."?
...No.

I'm going along with it,
And up or down, I'm going to make sure I cherish every bit or it.
Seriously, how do you live life with all these worries crawling up your leg?
Those things are not meant to be.


Has desire found a shady avenue?
Standing above - below me,
Has desire found a shady avenue?
Standing above - below me,
And I always fail to notice,
Yet, I always fail to notice...


There are times I felt stronger than ever,
There are times as well that I felt ever so weak...
There are times of sureness,
Yet there are times of doubt...
But as long as I hold on to faith,
...anything is possible.

So I hold on tightly.


Always running down the way up and you're standing there,
Always running down the way up and you're standing there,

And if we doubt we can hardly hope to shine,
And the sun could eventually be outshone,

Always running down the way up and you're standing there,
Always running down the way up and you're standing there...


I've had some really odd dreams recently,
I don't really understand what they mean,
I don't even know if they're supposed to mean anything...

Maybe...............................


Some conscious light gets through somehow,
Yet, I fail to notice,
Then I'm heading for the ground,
Always running down the way up...

Always running down the way up and you're standing there,
Always running down the way up and you're standing there...


Sometimes, the fear and doubt comes seeping back somehow...
It's so quick and sudden,
Almost like a panic attack...

And then somehow I manage to fight it back down.
I don't know how I shake it off that quickly,
Maybe my will is strong, or maybe I had help...

Maybe, just maybe...
...Maybe someone's watching me, protecting me...
...Someone from above?

So yeah, everything's going fine!
I'm all good,
Everything is awesome, as I always tell myself and others...
And there's thing song that's always stuck in my iPod...


I gotta feeling,
That tonight's gonna be a good night,
That tonight's gonna be a good night,
That tonight's gonna be a good good night!

Songs: BT & Hybrid - Running Down the Way Up, Black Eyed Peas - I Gotta Feeling