Giving Up or Getting Up?

Current music: Cube::Hard - Micro N2
Current game: Audiosurf

You know, I often question many things in life, such as determination, courage, faith and even life itself.
Hey, call me emo if you will, but curiosity never really killed the cat.

Anyways, I've encountered many, many people with their own set of problems.
Sure, we all do have little demons of our own, but not many are actually willing to share them.

The other day, a junior told me about her fear of failure (in general).
Well, we all are, to a certain extent...but this is where the "Dare to Fail" phrase kicks in.
Of course, failure isn't fatal - it's merely delayed success...depending on what happens after the failure itself.

What I mean here is that we all have choices...whether to give up or get up.
Some people give up way too easily - they simply aren't confident of their potential, or are unsure of the risks.
Well, let me state this: The greater risk is not taking the risk.

Someone who just failed would be understandably sad and disappointed, especially after having worked so damn hard for that little moment.

But once you've banged your head on the wall enough, you'll stare at the dented wall and start thinking...What am I doing? Man, I'm being stupid.

...and that's where the getting up phase comes in.

Get up, dust the dirt off your shirt and go on.
You won't know where you'll be in the future, but hey, there's no rule that says you can't enjoy your walk meanwhile.

Life is short, man. You've gotta live before you die, or you die before you live. Simple as that.

By the way, the song I listen to ironically fits <_<


Guess that's it...so it's really up to you to either give up or get up.
Your choice is in your hands.

Later~

A Special Valentine's

Current music: Rihanna - Umbrella
Current condition: Normal
Current mood: :)

Today's Valentine's Day...!

That's right, folks! The time when florists laugh at their huge wallets (even during an economy crisis)
A season when the thought counts.

A special day to me, not because it's Valentine's (believe me, I don't even celebrate it)

...but it's because it's the birthday of someone special.

If today never existed, that person wouldn't be here.
...and I wouldn't be here.

One of the people who has been through so much with me for so long.
Sure, there have been some complicated moments, but then...
Blood is thicker than water.

So, I'll dedicate this post to you (although I don't think you'll read it O_o)

Happy Birthday, Daddy!

Rollercoaster of Emotions

Current music: Cube::Hard - Micro N2
Current condition: Still a bit sick, but I can walk around at least...
Current mood: *blank*

Since the beginning of the year, I've been experiencing so many emotions...

Sure, those feelings were already present a long time ago, but this year, they seem to be amplified... much stronger and apparent.

No, we don't have carte blanche over our emotions...sometimes they're nearly impossible to control (of course, that depends on how resilient you are, but still there's always a limit somewhere)

One day in school, (I won't say when *sticks out tongue*) I went from crying alone in the corridor of the school to forcing myself to stop, breathe and go back to laughing with the teachers as I walk by in 5 minutes. Not only that, various other emotions come into place, some that I can't even describe in words.
It was tough, and one minute you're thinking of something in your life, the next minute you notice your eyes going red...a few seconds later, you either force them back or rush somewhere vacant and let go.

Call me a softie if you want, but I stand by the fact that we all face problems of our own, some we would rather not share with others...while others have more than enough trust to confide in their close ones.
What's worse is when you feel like you want to say it out, but something holds you back---fear.

Yes, fear. The fear of what would come to happen if your sacred secret comes out.
For some, it would be the fear of being laughed at or ignored.
And some, they probably just think it's not their business.
And for others, it's the fear of being a considered a faux pas.

Yesterday, I was told that I am useless.
Today, I was told that I am emo. (Believe me, my expression was like "What the-?!")

So what am I going to be told tomorrow???

Ah, but c'est la vie, life ain't a bed of roses. Roses don't come without the thorns.
I'm definitely not the center of attention, but at least there are a few loyal ones who stick by my side... and at least I have my rhyme and reason.

So what the heck...now that I think about it, I haven't really thought about my resolutions...(you know, the stuff that most people just crap about but they mostly never come true)...
But alas, I'll still try my best, because when I said mostly, it doesn't mean all.

I wonder what's in store for me tomorrow?

Clarification

You know, sometimes (more like most of the time) I feel like I'm alone...

And I can say this very frankly:

My school life sucks.


I mean, it's hard to find someone you can talk to and share things with...not only because we have very different interests...but also that we're just plain different.
Sometimes I even wonder if some of my so-called friends are really friends.

Some of them, I can say, are parasites...being nice to me only because I seem to be good at something. Parasites, I say!

And what the heck is with those people who keep insulting me?!
Seriously, I don't give a damn what you say, but don't go around spreading crap about me that'll humiliate me!
Even some of the teachers know some rumours and bug me about them...!

Crap lah, you guys seriously need a reality check.

ONE, okay, just because it's true (I admit it) you don't have to tease me about my weight! It's not like every single person in this world is skinny! And at least I'm doing something about it, so don't make the the butt of your insults, you fools.

TWO, just because I speak with certain boys (plural!) it DOESN'T MEAN THAT WE'RE DATING OR ANYTHING!!!
What do you think I am, a TRAMP?!
I've clearly said that I won't think about romance at this age, dammit!
And what's up with the teasing about me being nice to some people?!
Just because you guys hate those people, it doesn't mean they deserve to be hated.
I know exactly how it feels to be treated like crap, so I try to treat others as I would want to be treated, which is certainly not the policy in this crappy world.

Like I said, say what you want, but don't humiliate me. I have my own pride too as a person.

THREE, don't go assuming that all I do is STUDY STUDY STUDY. You know, some people just suddenly come up to me and say "So what did you do, study?" "You study all night long ah?"
"I'm sure during holidays all you do is study lah..."

Come on lah! Don't start a conversation with me just to ask something like that! It's as if you're not treating me like a person, but like a robot or some sort... and also, like I said before, don't use me, you parasites!

Let me clarify this:
I am NOT a walking encyclopedia, nor am I a robot. I am merely a person, just like you guys. With flesh and blood, emotions and a certain limit to what can be handled.
Don't push me over the limit. I want to be treated equally. I want to enjoy whatever school like I have left. I want to stay clean (as in no bad records or anything).

If you guys are expecting me to shout out the F-word or something, nice try, but no way. I won't ever do that so save your efforts.


Wow...it's amazing how much you can spurt out when you're sick... (literally)
I'm glad I let that out...I won't state who I am referring this to...you know yourselves.

Reformat!?!?

What the HECK!?!?
My computer is TOTALLY BUSTED...!
(actually this happened few days ago...it's still not back yet...

The thing I really did not want had to be done--REFORMAT

What a waste of precious holiday time...and now they're over.
So no computer-related activities until I-don't-know-when.

By the way, this post is typed from my iPod.
Convenient, but mind-sickeningly slow <_<

I guess that's it for now. Too much going on at once to actually sit down
and type...

Too bad my first iPod-typed post had to be this one...

Oh well...
Later...