Disturbed

Current manga: Nijigahara Holograph
Current condition: A bit weary
Current mood: Disturbed

I finished Book 20...two days ago...=.=

That's it...I'm rushing too much <_< I'll take the next book easily... (at least try to, that is)

But that's not the only thing...

I've realised...

That next year, I would have to make quite a number of controversial and risky decisions...

...Whatever the risk, I still have to.

Wanted to make this post longer, but don't feel like it.

Later...

Inner conflicts...

Current condition: Normal
Current mood: ...confused...

Even the holidays prevent me from being stress-free =.=

The "holidays" that I expected turns out to be, well, unexpected...

What-lah =.= why can't they just let me enjoy my holidays =.=

All these demons named Conflict, Stress and Despair won't leave me alone, no matter how much garlic I hang around or how many crosses I take with me =.=

I cannot say out specifically about this problem I'm facing...it's personal business...

Next update probably won't be so soon...
Until I feel like it, at least <_<

Later...

What fish?!

Current condition: Normal
Current mood: O_o...

Sometimes I just confuse myself =.=

*earlier today*...
Cyn: Mom, what are we having for dinner?
Mom: Vegetables...tofu...sa-deng fish (We were speaking in Mandarin, so sa-deng sounded blurry)
Cyn: O_o....what fish?
Mom: Sa-deng fish.
Cyn: ...Satan fish?!
Mom: Sardine fish! =.=

...Weird...

Book Twenty!

Current music: Metal Gear Solid 2 Theme (<_<>
Current condition: Tired...
Current mood: Tired...

...Finally...

I've finished Book 19!!!

And now I'm moving on to Book 20~!

I broke my previous record of finishing one book in 13 days...
I finished book 19 in 11 days...!

Okay, that's crazy...I admit it... but I'm just so...into it that I can't stop!

Also, I've finally found the mechanical pencil I've been looking for~ T.T

The Pilot RexGrip 0.5!!!
I know for a fact that Pilot brand pencils are damn expensive =.=
For example, the famous Shaker pencil is absurdly priced at RM 7-8...
And some other pencils can go up to RM 20++

But not for RexGrip! I think it's one of the cheapest Pilot pencils, sold at around RM 4, more or less...

Besides, I bought a new pack of exercise books...(and you should know by now what they're for...)
and they are CAMPAP branded~ which means higher paper quality...and higher price...

Moving on to another topic, my muscle cramps haven't completely healed =.=

Regardless, though, I've been dragged against my will to the gym...
Honestly-lah...it hurts like $%*&$%#...but I guess it's because I'm not used to it yet...

And at the Golf Club gym, there's this large-sized man with a very strict face...
(I've been told that he's a committee member of Golf Club)

Well, fine...but I've been nagged by him many times before =.=
Either it's because he thinks I wasn't holding the handles properly... or wasn't careful when doing this, doing that...

...Better not go into too much detail... I'll be in boiling soup if he happens to stumble upon this blog...and read this post...ACKK!!!

That's it for now...
Book 20~!!!

Later~!

Health Maintenance

Current music: Onoken - Vijore
Current condition: ...Better but worse at the same time
Current mood: Normal

It's already mid-November...
I've decided...I wasn't gonna stick my bottom to the chair and face the computer (and my drawing book) all day...

So what did I do?
I changed my clothes, wore shoes and followed my mom all the way to...


...The Sandakan Golf Club Gymnasium!!!

I mean...some health maintenance wouldn't hurt, right?
The moment I got there (this was three days ago) I saw Deepika, Elliot and Elliot Junior xD

Elliot: Wah, Cynthia...bored of studying already ah?
Cyn: *swt* LOL

Oy, come on-lah...I wasn't studying...the only book I've been touching since the holidays started is my drawing book~

Anyway, there was a new "gadget" or gym equipment...
In the book that members have to write their names on before using the equipment, the gadget is called "Synchro", but all I hear the people in charge of the gym call it is "...yang baru itu" =.="

After Deepika, I tried on that "yang baru itu" and it was actually quite fun xP. After gym, I noticed Deepika and Elliot going off to swim...with Wesley, Hareesh and Harikesh O_o... so many people that I know there...

Today, (more like just now) was my third day (in the holidays) going to the gym...
I treadmill-ed, cycled, synchro-ed...

And now that I think about it...I did some terrible mistakes on the first day...
1) I forgot to wear socks in my shoes =.= *ewww*
2) I forgot to warm up...

...and yes, even now I'm still having muscle aches =.=
Half-way through cycling today I experienced a mild cramp in my left leg...but it healed in nearly 10 seconds <_<

Even going up the stairs is a pain now...T.T ...that's why...WARM UP NEXT TIME!!!

Oh well...on my next visit to the gym (tomorrow T.T)
I might even go swimming!

...and yes, I can swim perfectly fine, excuse me <_<
...and no, I don't need a float to...well...float!

Guess that's it for now...

Later~!

School holidays...

Current music: Lia - Question of Honour
Current condition: Normal
Current mood: Normal

Malas update blog...but since it's been three days, might as well just type something here...
Since the holidays started, guess what I've been doing?

...Drawing...and
...Drawing...and
...Drawing...and
...Drawing...and

DRAWING!!!


I've been drawing so much that I could probably vomit pencil leads =.=

But hey, at least I'm not forcing myself or anything...I enjoy it~
My goal: Finishing Book 20 by the end of the year...

Since I'm now at book 19, I have approximately 1 1/2 months to do it...

Many of my friends asked me...Where am I gonna go for the holidays?
I don't know...probably nowhere...but probably somewhere...dunno...

Yalah...I know I'm "Ms. Dull and Boring" because I don't really go out and yum cha with my friends or go liao somewhere like the movies or (insert super exciting place here)

Dunno why-lah...
Maybe it's because...
1) I'm too lazy to go out xD
2) Nobody invites me...T.T
3) My friends are all out on vacation...


Speaking of hanging out...
I went to the class party on Monday night...
The BBQ was nice~ especially the mutton.

Then, some of my friends started playing "cho dai di"
I like that game T.T and wanted to join in, but they were betting money...so it's a no for me...
For me: Money involved = No go
Reasons:
1) I'm always broke
2) My chances of winning are like trying to win a lottery xO
3) It is against my policy xD


I guess that's it for now...What a boring post, huh?

Later...

KIV-ing Mobile Phones

Current condition: Ughhh... not too well...
Current mood: Normal, but...maybe slightly disappointed.

Today, I went to check out some new mobile phones...

I've been KIV-ing a few mobile phones...because I thought they were so cool and stuff...
Then I saw one of them.

Sony Ericsson W960i... RM 1,899

My heart probably skipped a beat...maybe two.

WHAT THE ----?!?!
That's absurd! Two years of my savings would barely even reach that much!
And the ridiculously expensive phone is already at its nett price, so no point of trying to bargain.

*sigh*...I guess that'll be a no...
And I'm sure the other phones I've been KIV-ing won't be even close to average in price...
...I wonder what other phones are great...but not too expensive and overpriced...

Later...

Speech Day and Prize Giving Ceremony 2008~!

Current condition: Sticky and sweaty xD
Current mood: :)

Speech Day 2008 just finished almost an hour ago!
After hours of sweating while wearing a dark blazer, finally...!

Early morning, I stood there with Phang Wei Ja and Suzanne to pin the "I-don't-know-what-it's-called" flower-thingy on the VIPs' shirts/coats.
At one point I was a bit worried that I might take too long or stick the pin too deep in and when I remove it, blood comes out or something... =.=
But in the end, all went well I suppose.

I liked the "lecha lecha" dance xD It was amazing and fast-paced.

And Form 5D's Lee Yit Mun was...wow...she got 90++ as average for almost all her subjects O_o
Amazing...she does deserve the first place xD

And as for me...I don't know if I was being over-cautious and all, but I actually retied my shoelaces before going up xD

Tung: Cynthia, don't fall down ah.
Cyn: Wah...if fall down...jiu gong (a.k.a. Lari Cahaya or having your p*nt**s showing)
Tung: When you go up and stand, stand elegantly. This is your Hall of Fame.
Cyn: And if I fall down, it becomes the Hall of Shame xD

Anyway, going up was no problem...but standing there while they announce...

Cyn: Jason, how issit? Standing there while they announce your PMR results?
Jason: Ok-lah, but it feels weird...I mean...they suddenly laugh...
Cyn: ...

Having the emcee suddenly saying Sejarah 74.5 and Fizik 70.5 made it sound uglier, but... I guess two B's are better than three...

Although my Physics was only 70.5, I think it was a rather good improvement (in semester 2, compared to semester 1)
In semester 1, I only got 64... and in semester 2 I got 77...so I guess that's somehow good...

My Sejarah, on the other hand, fell like bird droppings =.=
Okay, maybe not bird droppings, but dropping a whopping 9 percent is quite bad... but luckily my semester 1 score was there to pull it up a little...

After the ceremony, there were refreshments in the Library.
I went in and saw my mom chatting with Tony Voo's mother.
Once the VIPs finished eating and drinking, they left the library.
Along the way, they shook hands with me and asked me stuff in Hakka (which I am still trying to improve in) O_o

Later. my mom told me that she and my dad knew most of the VIPs...coz many of them are my dad's friends...
Ah...no wonder...=.=...still doesn't explain the usage of Hakka, though...oh well...

Well, enough of that...
With my 18th Book finally finished, (just today)
I'm on my way to BOOK 19!!!!!

Whoo~!~~~~!~~~!!!!

Later~!

Thoughts...

Never mind the fact that joy has been tasted once...

...They will simply ask for more...

To be happy is one thing,
To be satisfied is another.

It is already hot-wired into us. When we get something we want, we simply want more.
Drinking an entire ocean wouldn't even quench their thirst of desire.

I know people are like that. I can admit that I am too.
Therefore I can understand.

But what I really cannot understand...
...is how they want something so badly, they go to entire lengths of drastic measure to get it.

And what I cannot understand nor accept at all...
...is the fact that I am somehow involved in this chaos.

I mean, what did I do wrong?
Why should I be the one falling into the river just to appease them?

I am not your bait, excuse me.
Just because you think you are wonderful fishermen, it doesn't mean that you will catch a fish on every throw.

...but it's too bad...

...The bait can neither complain nor resist.

Questioning life...

Current condition: A bit tired
Current mood: .....

Watching TV and using the computer in the morning,
Waiting for them to come back,
Looking up to the shy,
I miss those days...

The past week, I've been reminiscing a lot...
I don't know why, though...They just...come...
I mean...now that I really think about it...
It's been 3---no...almost 4 years since my first day of secondary school...

Waking up early before dawn,
Brushing my teeth with my old toothbrush,
Putting on my blue pinafore,
Carrying my faithful school bag,
I looked in the mirror...
...that's me...
a Form One girl...

*Honk Honk* the school bus arrives...
Waving goodbye to my mother,
My brother and I walk outside the gates...
...first day of secondary school...

But before long, I became a prefect...
And even before I knew what hit me, I became a prefect AJK...

...not long after, I became one of the highest prefect AJKs...
...it's hard to believe, but it's true...
...the green skirt and smart-looking blazer shows it.

I used to follow orders,
From my senior prefects...

But now, almost in the blink of an eye,
I am now the one giving the orders,
To my juniors...

...I feel old...like I've been around for some time...
But still not that wise...
That's why,
As I try my best to encourage and help my juniors,
I also try my best to learn from them...
I'm still trying...

But being a prefect was beside the point.
Time just...passes so quickly...
My PMR exams felt like...just a week ago...

But now it is already near the end of my Form Four term...
What is awaiting me next year?

Packing my borrowed textbooks...
to be returned to the school the next day,
The odd feeling comes...
Next year I will be borrowing Form Five books...
I will be sitting for my SPM...
Suddenly I miss my Form Four textbooks...!

After examinations, Crystal often asked me in school...
...about what I plan to do after Form Five...

What can I say?
I don't really know actually...

After Form Five, I will be "free"...
...but it will be my time to walk my own path...
...to find my future life...
I won't be easy, but that's the way life is, isn't it?

Someday, inevitably,
We have to part ways with our friends,
Of course, we will try our best to stay in touch,
But it won't be the same as before...

When we meet again, probably many years later,
We would laugh and chat among ourselves,
About how many wrinkles we've gotten,
About how much different we look,

But what's the same is that...
...we will still be friends, right?

Tung once asked me in school...
"Wouldn't it be great if we could turn back time and restart the year?
That way we can undo any mistakes we have done..."

Well, sure, I think it'd be great too...
...but then...wouldn't it just turn us into cowards?
"...Tung, I think it's great, but I also think it's better if we just learn from our mistakes and move on with our lives..."

...at least there's the proof there that we not afraid to fail...

Ending this post,
It actually made me more depressed than I intended,
But I'm quite satisfied with the post...
Before clicking "Publish Post",
I typed another two paragraphs...

..."Change"...
I remember writing an essay about it.
The title is merely one word,
but it evokes such deep thoughts and emotions...

Everybody changes---that is a fact,
I know that I am not exactly the same person as I was before,
But I wouldn't say that I have changed completely either...
...I am still me,
...and I will always be me.

Bugger.com

Current condition: Normal
Current mood: Very annoyed

Ishh...sometimes blogger really makes me annoyed =.=
Before this post, I type a very long and time-consuming post...
Suddenly Bugger.com said that it couldn't publish my post and etc etc...
And then all the data is gone...
I've considered re-typing, but oh well...

Let it be! (Proceeds to kick a chair and then groans in pain)